To my tormentor,
Are you still there? Or, are you finally done with me? You see, you like putting me down, don’t you? You also love to see me cry. I hope you’re done and that you’re tired of the never-ending accusations and insinuations that you throw, oh so copiously, on me.
It all started with me trusting you–believing that you were merely protecting me and my assets. I let you into my life because you were someone, I thought, I knew quite well enough. Well, why not? You always made me think you were good–obviously misjudged, but good. So, there began a most painful unfolding in my life.
I was very open to you–permitting you to have a say on the many things that made up my life. You see, I wanted to give you a chance. I knew that you wanted to improve yourself–and you had things to prove to the world. Being one who prefers to perceive the good in everyone, I opted to welcome you back into my life. I gave you the key to decide for me–in terms of relevant resolutions that I couldn’t attend to.
At first, you seemed so respectful and so self-effacing–preferring to ask for permission before making a move. You made me think that being away from the fold has helped you mature, significantly. So, I gave you the responsibilities that enabled you to independently determine plans for me.
You bloomed and you bloomed–until, you were the one creating all the important choices already. You became too confident in your newfound position that you presumed that your words were, now, far more significant than mine. I noticed it, of course. Yet, I elected to keep my silence.
Well, I wanted to help you find your own calling. I wanted you to believe in your own capacities. I forgot that one cannot always trust those who have yearned for power for so long. I gave you the ability to feel in control. I did it, deliberately. But, you abused the kindness I bestowed.
I realized that I created a monster. It didn’t take long for you to become overbearing and arrogant. You began to order me about. You started acting like it was your whims that counted the most. I was but a lowly acolyte who needed to listen to your demands.
And you know what? I did. I tried my best. Because, I desired to preserve the peace. Yet, it came to a point where you evolved into such an egotistical know-it-all that I had to fight for myself already. I knew my rights. I knew that you were exploiting the compassion I so wanted to retain–in myself–for you. I realized that I couldn’t let you win, totally. For, allowing you, to do so, would equate to my complete demise. Thus, I began to speak out. I started to declare what I felt.
Yet, you had the guts to laugh at me. What impertinence you had! You took almost all that I had. It was my fault, I know. You callously misemployed my faith in you and utilized it to seize what was mine.
You won, didn’t you? In the end, greed and envy won over solicitude and conscience. And I hate myself for that humongous error on my part. I misread you so badly. I gave you the benefit of the doubt. Now? I just need you to stay far away from me. Do not, ever again, come near me or any of mine.