Confession 5: “Crushed”


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This is my confession. I’ve got a crush on my boss. But he doesn’t know it. I don’t know how to tell him but every time I see him, I melt into puddles. He has a bigger than life aura and I want him so much. The problem is that he loves someone else and I hate that girl to bits. Please, Diwa, help me. What should I do? Should I resign or what? Although I still hope he sees me for who I am.

One time, we were alone at the office and he was telling me about the current project we were doing. It was late and all the other employees went home. I was still there because I am his assistant. You know the feeling where you just know? Like you just know that he likes you. I was getting that vibe. But I just ignored it and continued encoding the letters we needed the next day.

He asked if I wanted dinner and I just said no. I wanted of course to have dinner with him. But I didn’t want to look easy. So I said no. The whole time we were finishing the letters, he kept teasing me. He’s a good guy and he never tried anything else. Yet. But I have this feeling that if I don’t stay away, it will come to us both saying what we feel. Well, he has a girlfriend and I don’t want to be a third wheel or something. Maybe I should just leave that job.

Anyway, sorry for this silly letter. I just wanted to send something. Thanks.

©Name Witheld

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Confession 3: “But, I Love You”


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Dear Diwa,
Here is my confession (for him).

So I wanted to confess that,
It has been 16 months we have been in a relationship. Yes, I believe you love me. So do you. There was a time, not one time rather many times. When you seemed too desperate for satisfying your desires. You gave me foolish rules, restrictions, which I shall never forget. I still remember the day when I wanted your support, but you without doing that barged on me conditioning me to stop my social networking sites to gain your support. I thought you were cheap, you used me. Still I loved you through everything. Sometimes I wanted to just go away, but I couldn’t, since you were so important. Mostly, you hurted me that day when you complained about my figure, saying I was fat and ugly and not at all beautiful. At all times you have blamed me because I was not perfect like you, not a topper. Because you know? Everyone doesn’t have those “science” brains. I have for writing which you don’t have.

©Name Witheld

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“Poetry With You”


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Penning down poetry with you,
That’s something I really miss.
The way we just jotted down,
The many things we talked about.

Writing anything for each other,
From love to poverty to politics;
Then, back again, to love.
The spontaneity and harmony,
With which we created write-ups.

Painting pictures with words–
Be it flowery, simple, fancy, or dark.
The fact that I knew you’d get it,
Anything I chose to use or say.

I loved that we had
The same train of thought–
I could use figures of speech,
And I knew, you’d see through it.
Most times, you did.

Sometimes, you didn’t get my meaning,
And I loved those moments, too.
Those were the times, you’d ask–
Ask away, you did, and I’d laugh.

I used to goad you into discovering,
What I meant–what I wanted to mean–
A word, a line, a stanza.
Sometimes, I had to explain
The whole thing.

But then, you’d make poetry, too.
Each day was full of poems for me.
Why did that even stop, anyway?
Why did we allow it to end?

What I really want, to say, is this:
I miss you and yes, I remember you.
I recall the endless discussions–
The steady flow of input-output
Between you and me.

Although, words are superfluous.
Nothing can, ever, fully enunciate
What was really lost,
The day I lost your love.

Because, I lost more than love.
I also lost my friend–
The dear friend I had, in you.

©Diwa

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“A Letter to Sweta Sagarika, My Best Friend Forever”


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Written by Pratik Pandya.
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Dearest Tsunami,

Yes! I am never going to stop calling you that.

I still remember when you came to my house for the first time; we were in standard 7. Though I used your notes since we were in 5th, but we actually became friends after I shifted near your house in Satyanagar.

This letter is to thank you.

Thank you yaar, for those rides on your scooty, for your notes, for listening to my poor jokes, for singing with me, for the hot chocolate and coffee and custard and a lot of things we ate together, for letting me have your seat in school bus, for that little push everytime, for teaching me English (God knows I would never had understood the language), for giving me lectures in standard 10 (in social studies), for scolding me for not studying and making me get through the Matric (I remember you came to my place at 6 in the morning to tell me that I cleared the Matric).

Thank you for making me a part of your life, for telling me something with your ‘pata hai, pata hai, pata hai?’, for those chats on your terrace, for those moments when we laughed at our silly notions, laughed when people stared at us when I sat behind you while going to DM Tutorials and we stared them back and all those infinite moments…

Thank you for everything that you did for me, for being there for me everytime, for making me understand what unconditional friendship is, for being my best friend forever…

Thank you for the wonderful, beautiful 17 years of our friendship…

I know I don’t talk to you much, I am not the talking types; of course you know that. But I miss you, remember you everyday.And I pray everyday for you, your life and for our friendship…

Lots and lots of love and hugs…

Your not so wonderful friend
Pratik

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“Fearful Love”


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she was showing him
her heart;
telling him, boldly,
how she felt;
he was ignoring her, forcibly–
scared to admit
that he felt the same.
his fear made it impossible,
for them, to experience
a beautiful love affair.
she found someone else
who was braver;
and, he never found out
how, it was, to have her.

©Diwa

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“Stairs”


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that moment
when you were supposed
to be so mad at him;
yet, he trips, on the way
down the stairs–
in public.
his butt, hitting
each of the steps–
about three steps:

thump,
thump,
thump.

and, you can’t help it.
you laugh.

–Diwa

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“Like You Said”


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it could’ve been good.
we could’ve made it work;
but, like you said, you wanted
to be open to possibilities.

i relented to your decision.
as a result, we made it
even more complicated
than it would’ve been.

you kept your word
and went out with others.
so, i tried to go out, as well.
then, you got mad at me.

like you said, you wanted
to stay available;
so, don’t take it against me
when i mingle with people, too.

even when i only want
to be with you.

–Diwa

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